Etiquette & faq

Messaging Etiquette

Our early communications are available so that we can discuss the intentions, logistics, and details of the container that we are about to co-create together.

If you need help with your intentions, I’m happy to work on that together.

These calls and messages are your first opportunity to show your capacity to honor how I will be showing up for your in your life. I invite you to hold yourself in this way by using a respectful tone throughout.

Conversations beyond the realm of logistics are leaning into the experience of Relationship Surrogacy which you will also find available on my website.

Pre-Container Etiquette

Be sure to create space in your calendar after our container so that you don’t have to work and you can integrate the experience.

If you’re a person who doesn’t usually like to be alone, I recommend having some loose plans with friends that you’ve all agreed can be cancelled last minute should you decide you’d like to be alone.

If you’re working with a therapist, please have a meeting arranged two days after our container so that you can talk through the experience we’ve shared with them.

Please arrive to the container well-rested and hydrated, with a clear understanding of your intentions for our time together. If you need help with your intentions, we can discuss them in our earlier messages.

If your body allows you to, please use the bathroom before your shower so that you can shower afterwards. There’s no need to put pressure on yourself to achieve this if its not flowing naturally as you can alway have a quick wash during the container as well.

Shower or bathe well before we meet and if you’re going to use soap on your body, be sure to use natural, non-chemical, non-synthetic soaps which you wash off the body completely.

After your shower do not apply any deodorants under your arms, or pastes to your skin. Lotion may be used if it’s 100% natural and organic. Do not apply any strong perfumes or essential oils, as we will be exploring the subtleties of our perception and may even be experiencing aromatherapy during our container.

We’ll start the container with a cup of tea to help ground the energy of our coming together. Boiling the kettle before I arrive will help with save us a little time.

Container Etiquette

This is not a sexual service.

Throughout the container, we will not have sex or kiss on the lips.

You are permitted to touch my body as long as I feel comfortable with it, but at no point may your fingers enter my body.

If touch is invited by you we can explore your experience of my hands on your body.

Personal Hygiene is highly appreciated and I may ask you to take a shower if I desire.

Post Container Etiquette

I’ll be checking in on you after our container has closed. It’s up to you whether you’d like to continue our communications.

FAQ

(Tantric massage-related FAQ at the bottom)

What are your rates?

$555/hr with a 2hr minimum. $8888/day for a 24hr or 48hr immersion, and $5555/day for travel companionship over 3 days or more. There’s a 50% deposit required to hold space on my calendar to create an experience.

Do you escort, offer sex or full service?

As mentioned above, my boundaries are that I don’t have sex, offer or receive oral sex, welcome fingers inside my body, or kiss on the lips.

Are you in my town / will you come to my town?

Please check the ticker on the homepage for my planned travel dates. If you’d like me to travel to you outside of these dates, we can talk about it. Please fill out the contact form to begin the process.

What types of tantric massages do you offer?

Taoist, Kashmiri, Inner Alchemy and Lasya Tantric Massage. All of these are one-way touch offerings.

How long have you been holding space for peoples healing?

I was attuned in Reiki in winter 2008 and have been holding space for people’s healing journeys in various ways since then.

Why do we have to have a video call before creating an experience together?

This is an important part of the process as it gives both of us an opportunity to see that we are a good fit for each other and there is a feeling of comfort when we are in each others presence. Also, oftentimes, people are more comfortable asking a question on a call then typing it in an email. The call offers the opportunity to ask those questions.

Whats your height and weight?

6’ (182cm) and 190lbs (85kg)

I don’t understand the way things are written on your site, it’s unclear?

The site is worded in a way that will speak to the people who are looking for someone who offers what I offer. If it doesn’t speak to you, or make sense to you, then we are probably not a good match.

I have allergies, what massage oil do you use?

I use organic Jojoba oil which is the natural oil with the closest pH to the Yoni and human skin. If you know you have sensitivity to Jojoba or would rather use another type of massage oil. Please feel free to talk with me about it so we can create an experience that’s best for you.

Tantric Massage FAQ

What types of Tantra Massage do you offer?

Taoist, Kashmiri, Lasya & Inner Alchemy.

I have allergies, what massage oil do you use?

I use a homemade organic food grade body butter safe for internal use. The main ingredients are organic food grade cacao butter, organic jojoba oil, organic food grade shea butter and non-chemically filtered pharmaceutical grade bees wax. If you have an allergy to any of these we can use any oil that you know you work well with your skin type. If you have a sensitive yoni, we can also use lube that you know works well with your yoni during the internal massage.

Is two-way touch allowed in Tantric Massage?

Tantric massage is a one-way experience where you get to relax and finally receive the pleasure you deserve. Giving would only serve to distract you from perceiving the subtle energies of the experience, so it’s best to allow yourself this opportunity to surrender and feel all the yummy aspects of these ancient massages. If you’re interested in two-way touch, we can do a sensual touch experience instead.

Will the masseuse be naked?

I’ll have my boxers on for the experience. This ensures an added layer of safety and surrender for the receiver. If you’re interested in me being naked we can do a sensual touch experience instead.

Will I be naked?

This is up to you. There is the option to be naked if you choose, or if you feel safer with your underwear on then this is also welcomed. Your sense of safety and relaxation is very important so that you can relax into the experience so whatever helps create that, is welcome.

What if I want to stop?

I’ll be checking in with you throughout the experience to make sure you’re feeling safe and held. Pausing and stopping is allowed and encouraged if that’s what you feel you are needing. You always know whats best for you.

What if I need to go to the bathroom?

Then we take a bathroom break.

What if I start to feel pleasure?

Though we are never working towards orgasm during the experience, your pleasure and all emotions that arise naturally throughout the experience are welcome.

What type of touch will I be experiencing e.g. deep tissue, light etc?

The most important note here is that this is your massage and you can have it your way at a level of pressure that you enjoy. If ever the pressure is too soft or too much, you’re welcome to invite refinements to help you relax deeper into the experience. In general however, the type of touch experienced differs from massage to massage. Kashmiri, Inner Alchemy and Lasya all have feather light to ‘yummy’, sensual touch. There are moments in these massages where we focus on acupressure points, and some firm pressure will be used on these specific points. In Taoist there are variations in pressure from firm, to yummy to feather light as the giver focuses on moving and awakening energy within the receiver. We will talk about the structure of the Taoist massage before the session, and I’ll be highlighting some of the different types of touch that will be experienced so you can relax deeper into the experience.

Will we finish with an orgasm?

These ancient massage techniques are designed to help you increase your capacity to experience bliss in the body. Creating a goal-oriented experience would only serve to distract the receiver from the pleasure available in every moment of the massage so this is not a part of any of the massages. Sometimes people experience multiple orgasms, sometimes people have no orgasms but feel a calm state of bliss in the body as if they did. Each experience is unique and the best way to understand what yours will be is to dive in!

Can I have sex with my partner after the massage?

It’s advised that you avoid sex for at least two hours after the massages to allow yourself time to integrate. If you can, it’s ever better to wait for 24hrs.

Can I try one massage and see if I want to do the 10-series?

Yes, we can start with Taoist, and if you’d like to continue that will be the first in the series.

What does a Taoist Tantric Massage entail?

We finish with a relaxing head sequence to help gently balance the yin and yang energies in the body and relax the nervous system.

What does Kashmiri Tantric Massage entail

Note: The below description is how the massage unfolds as long as it is within the boundaries of the receiver. We will have a conversation around boundaries at the very beginning of the experience. Your safety is held in the highest regard so that you can relax fully into the massage. Kashmiri Tantric Massage is a healing massage which helps to integrate the inner child and the sensual adult. This massage can be particularly healing for people who’ve had challenging experiences in their childhood that continue to affect them to this day. I’ll have my boxers on for the entire massage and the touch used throughout the entire experience is best described as sensual and yummy. This is not a deep tissue, sports or muscular massage. We start with a short meditation to create a safe space for the massage to take place within. Periodically throughout this massage there are some gentle pulsing thrusts from the pelvis of the giver towards the receiver. During this motion kundalini energy is being transferred to the receivers central channel encouraging energetic flow and vitality. In the beginning we massage each side of the body. You will be laying on your side with your buttox resting back on my lower belly as I sit cross legged behind you. We integrate the whole body here with some sweeping movements across the genitals, breasts, tummy, and a nice massage of the legs, feet, arms and hands. At one moment the legs will be opened for a massage of the inner thigh and there is a hold of the Kidney 1 point on the foot and the perineum. Once the sides are complete you move onto your belly and straddle my crossed legs so I can massage your back, tummy, legs and feet. There are some gentle leg stretches involved and some sweeping motions over the genitals. At the end of each leg massage I hold the kidney 1 point and a gently hold of the perineum while vibrating my hand. You then turn over onto your back and straddle my crossed legs once again. Once comfy we’ll do a massage of the front of the body. Here we integrate the breasts for women also. There is some nice stretches of the legs, buttox and back, along with a hold of the kidney 1 point and the perineum. We finish with a face sequence to help balance the energy of the body and relieve any remaining tension in the energetic system. The face massage incorporates some pressure points and an energetic treatment along some very specific meridian lines. Once complete we sit back up to close the energetic space we created at the beginning of the massage.

What do the Lasya and Inner Alchemy massages entail?

These massages will only be explored as part of the 10-massage series. If you decide to do the series we’ll talk about Inner Alchemy and Lasya when the time comes.

Why is it a 10-massage series? I only want one massage.

The 10-massage series is laid out to help you, the receiver, gain the most benefit from these ancient transmissions. We start with 3 Taoist Massages. Taoist helps to balance the yin and yang energies of the body harmonizing masculine and feminine and helping you to tune into the subtle energies of the body. The structure of Taoist helps the receiver to relax as each new step is announced so they know whats coming. This builds trust between the receiver and giver, and helps the receivers nervous system to settle in preparation for the next massages in the series, Kashmiri. Kashmiri is a more flowing massage which helps to integrate the inner child and the sensual adult. Since Kashmiri is a flow we don’t announce whats coming next. The moves transition gently into each other helping the receiver to melt into the experience, while the positions of the receiver in the massage help to create deeper trust and safety preparing the receiver for inner alchemy. In Inner Alchemy we move to internal massage helping the receiver to dissolve emotional, physical and energetic blockages in the Yoni (Vagina) for women or Guda (Rectum) for men. Resting on the foundation of deep trust established in the previous massages, the receiver can more easily let go, receive support, and embrace any emotions that may arise. The final massage, a Lasya massage, can be explored only if the client is ready. This will be determined at the end of the 9 massage series if Lasya is appropriate, or if it would be more helpful to revisit Taoist, Kashmiri or Inner Alchemy.